When do I mean to marry?--Well,
'T is idle to dispute with fate;
But if you choose to hear me tell,
Pray listen while I fix the date.
When daughters haste, with eager feet,
A mother's daily toil to share;
Can make the puddings which they eat,
And mend the stockings which they wear;
When maidens look upon a man
As in himself what they would marry,
And not as army-soldiers scan
A sutler or a commissary;
When gentle ladies, who have got
The offer of a lover's hand,
Consent to share his earthly lot,
And do not mean his lot of hand;
When young mechanics are allowed
To find and wed the farmers' girls
Who don't expect to be endowed
With rubies, diamonds, and pearls;
When wives, in short, shall freely give
Their hearts and hands to aid their spouses,
And live as they were wont to live
Within their sires' one-story houses;
Then, madam--if I'm not too old--
Rejoiced to quit this lonely life,
I'll brush my beaver; cease to scold;
And look about me for a wife!
